I met Midge in the fall of freshman year in economics. We sat next to each other for about two weeks before saying a peep. It wasn’t until it was time for our exam and she needed to cheat that we first interacted. We exchanged names and laughed about it after class and it only took us a few days to become best friends. She took me to all the cool places around our college town in her Mercedes-Benz and somehow always got us invited to the upperclassmen parties. We hung out every day. The following year we chose to be in a dorm together. And the year after that. We became inseparable. So here we are, a few months away from our last year in college, driving up to the Catskills in a red convertible. We get to the base of the mountain, pull all of our belongings out, and walk through the parking lot toward the trail map. 

“Hey, that kinda looks like Mikey’s car haha,” Midge commented, finger pointed at a gray pickup truck.

“That’s not funny,” I muttered, squinting my eyes. 

Mikey was my boyfriend from my junior year in high school to my sophomore year in college. We broke up last summer. I hated Mikey. Most of the time, anyway. I look back and can’t believe I dated him for almost 4 years. In my defense, I was too scared to leave him. There were times he would treat me like a princess but there were too many occasions when he did questionable things. He often said he would make me regret it if I ever broke up with him. A few times our arguments turned physical, but he told me I’d be dead if I ever told anyone what happened. Mikey also always had a grudge against Midge. He would tell me I spend too much time with her and constantly ask me if I love her more than he. They never got along and that really made me upset. I was too afraid to do it in person so I left a text and blocked him. I was surprised he never bothered me again after the breakup. 

We walked up to the trailhead. 

“This one looks good” I said, urgent to start hiking so I could eat.                  

“You sure? There’s probably some nicer ones up ahead.” Midge replied. 

I heard my stomach grumbling. 

“Nah, this is the one.” I insisted. 

We hiked for about an hour until we found a flat area to place our tent. Midge set up the tent while I cooked us some chicken and rice. By the time we sat down to eat it was pitch black outside. We realized we hadn’t even thought of bringing flashlights, leaving the moon and the stars as our only source of light. A couple of glasses of wine put us to sleep that night. A few hours later I woke up to some rustling sound but it felt far from morning. The stars were still out, no sign of the sun, and no birds were chirping. I tapped Midge. 

“Go back to sleep, the suns not even up,” Midge uttered, closing her eyes again.

“Midge. Get up.” I shook her awake.

“What? What is it?” She said, eyes still shut. 

“Something’s wrong. I think there’s someone outside of our tent.” 

She finally sat up. 

“Huh?” she said, eyes half shut. 

“Look outside.” I pointed my finger out the tent.

“I’m not looking. You look.” 

“Together?” I replied. 

We both slowly walked out of the tent. 

“Oh my god. You woke me up for nothing. I’m going back to bed.” Midge mumbled, rolling her eyes. 

She started walking back to the tent. I took a few steps and looked to my left and right to find any possible clues as to what the fuck was going on. When I looked back, Midge was gone. I checked the tent. There was no trace of her anywhere around me.

“Midge! Midge!” I kept yelling. 

It felt like the more I yelled, the darker it got. I pulled out my phone and tried calling 911. No service, no answer. I heard someone shout, but it wasn’t Midge. It was a man. I tried to get closer to the sound. 

“Stop moving! Just shut up!” I heard the man’s voice again. 

I knew where it was coming from now. I quietly crept forward. I saw Midge tied to a tree with the man facing his back towards her. He had a black ski mask on. I noticed there was a knife in his hand. He turned around and began whispering in Midge’s ear. I observed the man’s silhouette for a minute. 

It couldn’t be, I thought to myself. But it was. It wasn’t long until he started stabbing her. Once, then twice, then a third and fourth time. I covered my eyes after the fifth. She didn’t let out a single yelp. I put my head down and my new priority became covering up the gushing sound being let out from a knife in the hand of a man I used to love. 

I will always blame myself for Midge’s death. I spend every day hating myself for ever entering her life. But I loved her. I loved her more than anything. I loved her more than Mikey. I won’t ever forgive myself for never telling her the real reason I left Mikey. We were fighting one night, it was the fourth of July. He saw what I had written about Midge in my journal. He started yelling at me and wouldn’t let me leave his apartment. After a while, I found no point in fighting back because he was much stronger than me and I knew he wasn’t afraid to hit me. I was forced to sleep in the same bed as him that night. Very early the next morning I quietly rolled out of bed, packed my stuff, and left. That was when I blocked him. A year had gone by and there was no word from Mikey. I thought I was safe. That Midge was safe. I didn’t know I could be so mistaken.