War, bloodshed, agony, suffering, and sacrifice.

When it happens to us, we become resentful towards the world. But when it happens to others, we send our condolences and turn away. 

War: It begins and ends, but its aftermath stands to exist longer than us. 

Bloodshed: You don’t know how much blood is in a person till you see it spurting out.

Agony: Our physical, emotional, and psychological wellbeing is compromised. 

Suffering: We don’t know if this day is our last; regardless of that, we still won’t look forward to tomorrow.

Sacrifice: To us, it matters not what the sacrifice is, but who it is for.  

So why do we let our women go through this monthly? We allow them to shed the blood of war and live in agony for 12 weeks a year. I propose we sacrifice one of their ovaries. Let one be saved for the hope that humanity remains prosperous.

Periods are a nuisance. One is supposed to outgrow diapers by the age of 4, but women have to wear at least 3 different diapers per day for an average a week per month. Not to mention they are so expensive. I mean, why make people pay for something they didn’t choose to have? It’s not like everyone can afford birth control or to get their tubes tied. 

The cramps that accompany periods can start a week before and continue on during the period. For some women, they have to deal with period cramps that come AFTER the period. If we were to remove an ovary, we would essentially cut this pain in half. Women all over the world would live with 3.5 day periods instead of the standard 7. HUZZAH!!

Not to mention the fluctuation in hormones that make women emotional and grumpy during periods causes annoyance for everyone around them. We’ve learned to tip-toe and adapt to their schedules, but why should we? 

Some may call my proposal outrageous and may propose that they can make a period disappear for nine months. Unfortunately, they themselves will disappear too. After women give birth, they bleed for four to six weeks. So not only are they back to bleeding, they are accompanied by a crying parasite who has no skills except for draining one’s bank account and life values. 

This is not to say that it would only benefit women: Men too will see their mothers, sisters, and daughters have more time for the wellbeing of their fathers, brothers, and sons. Men will be pampered more often and will enjoy the luxury of meals on more days of the month. 

            Men wouldn’t have to pay their tax dollars in order to provide for something that was once a necessity. The only temporary fix they used to be a part of was pregnancy, but now they can do so much more. They can be real men. 

Doctors too will jump at the opportunity to perform a new procedure and make bank. Their main priority will be the money of course. They aren’t trying to steal your girl by treating her too well. 

The government would have more money because there would be less children as the chance they will be born is cut by 50%. Those who will be born will be cared for and considered a rarity. This also accounts for a decrease in homeless people as they will get cheaper rent. Less people= less rent. 

There will also be an increase in the job market as there is less competition. 

Midwives would approve as they wouldn’t have to suffer the emotional harm they would’ve if the baby they were delivering were to be lost through medical complications.

With removing an ovary, scientists will have to develop a new way of making fetuses. Scientists would jump at the opportunity to learn how to procreate without an egg. They’ve already tried it with an egg and bone marrow, why not the reverse? 

For the chocolate companies that feed into the cravings of menstruating women, they would learn what it means to live in a world where  we aren’t monopolized by chocolate. American chocolate companies will be thanked for their service in decreasing the obesity rate of the country.  

The rich would jump at the opportunity to invest in companies that would do the procedure. After all, we won’t ever run out of women to take ovaries from. 

The ovary that will be removed will be happy to be free and not be enclosed in a space where it is always being touched by the fimbriae. It will be responsibility- less and learning to live in a world with minimal purpose. 

But perhaps we shouldn’t use our manly minds to come up with a solution. Why solve a problem that forces us to exert energy and think more than we usually do? But I am not a man, neither am I non-binary. So that leaves us with one option; to disregard my proposal as it comprises the basic rights of women. Let’s just let women be and figure out their own solutions; well, maybe help could be provided if men were the ones to menstrate.