“We should make it clear that getting help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of strength.”

– MICHELLE OBAMA

Mental health is one of the most important parts of a human’s well-being and health. It consists of social, physiological, and emotional well-being. We need our mental health to be in check to have a healthy life.

While you expect this to be a top priority, for many people, they don’t put effort into their own and may not get the help they need. For example men, many men seem not to feel the need to get help or keep check with their mental health.

But it’s also due to the world around them, Men have been mistreated for years stemming from rooted societal masculine expectations, and doctors also fall for this bias. leading to misdiagnosis. 

“Men aren’t the problem. The way that we, society as a whole and health care providers specifically — treat them is.” – AAMC

Key statistics from ADAA (Anxiety & Depression Association of America):

• Though men account for about 10% of patients with bulimia or anorexia, men with an eating disorder are less likely to seek professional help. 
• Over 6 million men suffer from depression per year, but male depression often goes underdiagnosed.
• More than 3 million men in the US have panic disorder, agoraphobia, or any other phobia. 
• One of the leading causes of disability in America is schizophrenia. Approximately 3.5 million people in the U.S. have been diagnosed and 90% of those who are diagnosed by age 30 are men. 

Masculinity & Early Development

Some men fail to seek help or are just thought of as not needed is the expectations and “norms” of masculinity.

Traditional masculinity or hegemonic masculinity is a subset of masculine norms that is more focused on men’s dominance, power, and masculinity. 

This subset closely aligns with toxic masculinity and there are many similarities in the expressions and expectations from both. Toxic masculinity focuses on restricting certain behaviors in boys and men such as crying or simply being scared. 

Almost as soon as a boy’s life starts they are accustomed to playing rough and are expected to break rules, be rebels and act out, and this is reinforced when their parents say “Boys will be boys”, a very common saying that has been used for years, Literally being derived from Latin, originating in Ancient Rome. Just this simple saying supports the idea of toxic masculinity, when boys would be soft or more emotional they wouldn’t seem “boy enough.” So they are taught to misbehave, at least in a way that is seen as normal for boys.

We also see the direct opposite of this stigma and something that can be a problem for women too. Stereotypical femininity. Women are expected to be the opposite, follow all the rules, and stay quiet, they would be looked down upon for the completely different reasons a boy would.

Now, of course, as we get deeper into the 21st century we have made progress in accepting more things. Either if its gender or race people have been less adamant in expecting people to be a certain thing. But that doesn’t mean it’s not still present.

Kevin Simon, a instructor at the Harvard Medical School and a psychiatrist, had this to say about his own experience raising his son, “I have a 2-year-old boy, and oftentimes when boys show emotion early on, they’re trained societally to try to taper it down and not fully acknowledge what the feelings are. Men tend not to seek services because they’re just not even fully aware of their emotions.”

We need to teach men to learn about their feelings so they can explain them in the future. Make it feel okay to speak out.

What does this cause?

Stigma

Traditionally, society has painted men as the more common breadwinners and more powerful, while that may seem like a positive, “expecting” men to play this role makes it harder for them to express their feelings due to it possibly feeling emasculating. This is what causes that stigma.

In a survey conducted by the American Psychological Association, only 35% of men reported they would seek help from a mental health professional, compared to 58% of women. While yes not speaking out is a problem, This stigma leads to much more, such as mistreatment of substances and other dangerous coping methods that many (especially men) resort to instead of seeking professional help. 

 A staggering 15% difference in treatment received between men and women.

What is a stigma? Especially one revolving around mental health? 

According to the National Library of Medicine, “Mental health-related stigma is an umbrella term that includes social (public) stigma, self-stigma (perceived), professional stigma, and cultural stigma. Social stigma refers to the negative attitudes toward and disapproval of a person or group experiencing mental health illness rooted in the misperception that symptoms of mental illness are based on a person having a weak character. These perceptions can lead to discrimination, avoidance, and rejection of persons experiencing mental illness. This is usually the type of stigma that is discussed most often.” 

But other types of stigma we see are also a damaging factor towards men, such as self-stigma where the person with the mental illness is ashamed of their symptoms, or even professional stigma where the medical professional may have their own bias or stereotypes and project that onto their clients. These are all damaging factors to the running stereotype towards men and their masculinity.

Most Affected

While, yes, this stigma and stereotypes affect all men, it’s seen more in specific racial and ethnic groups, especially in the African American and Hispanic communities. In both communities, especially in the black community, men have been looked down upon for speaking out about their problems since it shows that they’re weak, which yes happens in every race and community; it’s much more prominent in African Americans and Hispanics. 

In 2020 “only 26.4% of Black and Hispanic men ages 18 to 44 who experienced daily feelings of anxiety or depression used mental health services, compared with 45.4% of non-Hispanic White men with the same feelings.” Even when they try to speak out racism and inequality in the healthcare system is still prevalent and causes a lack of fundamental healthcare in many black communities including mental health care.

Dangerous coping methods and habits

Mental illnesses are hard to deal with, because they can make you feel stuck or lost, and manipulate you in so many different ways. And it can become too much. While getting help from doctors is recommended, many men feel like they can’t, instead they turn to much more dangerous ways like alcohol and substance abuse. This is the problem with stigma because it affects people in so many different ways not just making them scared or feel “emasculated” but it causes chain reactions like addiction. 

Here are some key findings by the National Institute of Health on drug use in the United States:

• The non-medical use of prescription drugs — including painkillers, tranquilizers, and sedatives — is a growing problem in the United States. Although statistics show that more men abuse prescription drugs than women
• Males are up to three times more likely to smoke marijuana every day than females.
• Men are more likely than women to use almost all types of illicit (illegal) drugs, and illicit drug use is more likely to result in emergency department visits or overdose deaths for men than for women.

Another way men are seen coping with their problems is by throwing themselves into their work, which only causes more burnout and more likely to develop worse mental health and start using substances.

Where is this leading?

These are all damaging problems for men in communities and can worsen mental health and just continue the trend in general. It also increases suicide. Men in the United States die by suicide at a rate four times higher than women. 

And yet, men are diagnosed with depression and mood disorders at far lower rates. Why is this? Several psychiatric illnesses have been associated with increased suicidal ideation and suicide attempt risks, but most of these disorders more often appear differentially in male than female persons.

In specific, one of the leading causes associated with the spectrum of suicidal behavior is depression. Unfortunately, diagnosis is relatively hard to accomplish among males, due to the absence of speaking out and how they usually mask their emotions. It’s harder to spot signs of it, sometimes making it too late to catch, much later than it should be. 

Medical conditions related to suicide, including substance misuse, trauma, and post-traumatic stress disorder, all have stronger connections with men rather than women. Male incidence of alcohol and drug abuse which is many times caused by lacking mental health support is greater, and in most instances, such substances increase suicide risk. A history of trauma or adverse childhood experiences increases the risks in later life of serious mental health problems in men, increasing their vulnerability to suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

Ways you can help

Mental health is a crucial aspect of overall well-being, yet many men struggle in silence due to societal pressures and stigmas that discourage them from expressing vulnerability. It’s essential to offer practical support and understanding, especially when men experience mental health challenges. There are multiple online resources as well such as articles about the stigma but also ways you can help such as BetterHealth.gov or Butler.org. But there are also ways you can help.

1. Acknowledge Changes in Behavior

The first step in supporting a man fighting mental health is noticing changes in behavior. If you have observed some changes in his interactions with people or his seemingly having mood swings, even just changes in his daily routines can be an indicator that something could be wrong. The simple but caring remark, “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a bit different lately—how are you doing?” can open the door to a much wider conversation than you would expect.

Men rarely say they are struggling, but such gentle acknowledgment of their behavior makes them feel recognized and understood.

2. Be a Non-Judgmental Listener

You should be creating a safe space for him to share his feelings by approaching the change with no judgment. The discussion should be approached with empathy, and it’s important not to criticize or make assumptions. This not only shows that you care but also signals that it is okay to talk openly about mental health.

Once a man begins to open up, one of the most valuable things you can do is to listen. Spend time engaging in a conversation where you genuinely seek to understand his experiences and emotions. Avoid offering solutions or judgments unless he explicitly asks for them. Many men face pressure to appear “strong” or “in control”; sometimes they just need someone to listen to them without feeling influenced to perform or fix anything.

Sometimes, he might just require your presence to talk, without interruptions of any kind. 

3. Provide Information and Resources

For men who may be unaware of the resources available to them, finding them could be a very critical step toward accessing helpful information for maintaining good mental health. Whether it is pointing them to a mental health website, helping them gain access to books at a local library, or putting them in touch with community health centers, easy access to information may be the first step toward bettering their mental health. Sharing those resources with a man may let him know that he is not alone in his struggles and that mental health issues are common and treatable. Libraries and community health centers can also offer brochures or free services to assist in the journey toward recovery.

By helping him explore these options, you give him the freedom to take proactive responsibility for his mental health.

4. Encourage seeking professional help and support—sometimes

The best way you can help a man with his mental health is by encouraging him to seek help from professionals. This may be in the form of visiting a doctor, therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist trained to provide support for people who suffer from mental health problems. For many men, this is a hard step to take because of stigma or the thought of not being able to handle things on their own.

In such cases, offering to help him take that first step—be it making an appointment or accompanying him to a healthcare provider—can be priceless. If he is unwilling to seek help, assure him that mental health professionals are trained to assist people with all sorts of problems and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You might also normalize the experience for him by reminding him that many people benefit from the support of mental health professionals, that it is nothing to be ashamed of, and that it is part of recovery or healing for lots of people.

Sometimes, all a man needs is a little encouragement to surmount the starting barrier of therapy or make the first appointment. 

The more we normalize the conversation around mental health and offer non-judgmental support, the more empowered men will be to address their mental health needs. By offering empathy, understanding, and actionable support, we can help break down the barriers that prevent men from seeking the care they deserve.

Final Take

The stigma surrounding men’s mental health is a complex and deeply ingrained issue that developed from societal norms, cultural expectations, and a lack of open dialogue. Undiagnosed mental health disorders, hazardous coping strategies, and, sadly, increased suicide rates are caused by the frequent pressure men feel to comply with antiquated ideals of masculinity that encourage emotional oppression and eliminating vulnerability.

Change is possible though. We can eliminate those factors preventing men from getting the assistance they require by recognizing the problem, encouraging honest dialogue, and providing nonjudgmental support. Improving mental health outcomes for men requires normalizing therapy as a show of strength rather than weakness, giving them access to services, and encouraging them to try to understand and communicate their feelings.

By working together, we can establish a more welcoming and encouraging atmosphere where men are encouraged to put their mental health and general well-being first.