“Whenever you’re feeling down, it might be helpful to think about the person you love.” 

According to yourtango.com, love releases dopamine, meaning that you are more happy thinking about or being around the person/people you love.

Love can come in two different forms: Platonic and Romantic. 

Platonic love in the love that you show towards your friends or family through strong bonds and spending time together to strengthen those bonds. 

Romantic love is the deep love that you show towards a partner or crush. Romantic relationships tend to be more physically affectionate but can work in multiple different ways; as can platonic relationships.  

Firstly, let’s cover platonic relationships. 

Making friends is a hard skill to master. There are multiple different things you need to keep in mind to make and strengthen connections with friends such as making sure you aren’t the only one happy in the relationship or they are happy and you aren’t. In this article, we will be helping you learn how to make friends easier and how to strengthen bonds with either friends or partners. 

Friendship Readiness

Let’s start off by getting one thing out of the way. Platonic and romantic relationships are EXTREMELY complicated. People make mistakes and you don’t need to blame yourself for every friend or person you lose whether you were in a romantic relationship or platonic one. 

When looking for friends, consider what you want first. You want to ensure that you are getting something out of the relationship and not just the other person. Ask yourself these questions:

• Do you feel you can openly communicate with this person?
• Do you enjoy your time around this person?
• Do you feel you can be yourself around this person?
• Do you feel you can trust this person?

These questions are crucial to having an enjoyable friendship. 

If you feel you can’t answer yes to one of these questions make sure to inform the person you are in a relationship with. Communication is important in friendships and is how you maintain long lasting ones.

If you struggle with making friends, maybe focus on improving yourself first whether that be how you act toward other people, or how you treat yourself. When trying to make a friend, many people are looking for someone who is confident and contributes to the relationship. If you feel you are not in a place where you can comfortably communicate or contribute, you should focus on that FIRST.

Making Friends

There are many ways you can make a friend but I find the most effective one to be just simply complimenting someone (which I find works more than you think). Whether you compliment their personality, smarts, style, humor, or honestly anything, its a great way to open the doors to a new friendship with someone.

BE NICE! No one wants to be friends with someone who doesn’t value them or that talks badly about others, even including them sometimes! 

Refer back to the 4 questions you should ask yourself when making a friendship and this time apply them to you. Do you feel you are being a good friend? Do you think you can be a good friend? And most importantly if you have already done something wrong to a friend do you think you can fix it? 

Words of affirmation is just one way people bond there are also many other love languages

Another popular kind of love language is gift giving. Many people enjoy the thought of it, either it’s giving someone a bouquet or a handmade item that can make someone very happy.

A recent trend is “Boo Baskets” where people give others baskets filled with blankets, candy and hand made things for the fall season. 

There are many other kinds of love language such as acts of service, physical touch, and quality time and what people prefer varies person to person. It is how people show their love and respect for other people. 

Romantic Preferences

Many people start dating differently, some go on dating apps while some people are set up together by their friends. But there are some steps before you go into a relationship.

First you have to set what you want to look for in the relationship and your partner. For example, do you want someone who is very outgoing or do you want someone who is very chill.  

We interviewed a couple students in NYC iSchool and here are some responses of what people wanted in their partner:

Leslie Cruz a senior said “Loyalty, genuine people, good humor, NOT BORING” 

Another student said “I look for someone who i can be kind of best friends so i can still joke around with them with but also like romantically” 

Overall preferences in partners vary person to person but what most people associate with almost everyone is that they want someone who they can relate to and connect to on a deeper level. 

Second of all, you want to  ask yourself “are you ready for a relationship?” relationships take time and effort and that requires not only to balance out friends, school, and extracurricular activities but also time to dedicate to your partner.  

You want to have time to spend with your partner because in dating spending time together is ideal for a stable and healthy relationship. It gives you time to bond with your partner and also learn more about them for example : what do they like, what do they not like, and what are their goals.

If you think you are too busy for it then you may not want to be ready for a relationship, and that’s okay!  Romantic relationships are not completely needed; you can still enjoy time with your friends and family. 

More than friends

Romantic relationships are similar to platonic relationships. In some aspects they are also very complex. 

A romantic relationship requires a lot of talking with your partner and learning to understand each other to a deeper level. 

When dating someone it isn’t guaranteed that you will stay with them. In Fact, according to bustle.com “IllictEncounters, a British dating site for married people, did a survey of a random pool of 1,000 people and found that 25 percent are still with their first love now.” 

The reason why many of these relationships do not last is because when dating, you get to know not only your partner but also yourself. In relationships it’s vital to spend a lot of time with your partner but over time you may notice that your ideals and their ideals may not line up. For example you may want to travel the world while they want to stay in their home town or another example is your sexuality may change. While these examples may seem outlandish, they are possible and do happen in some relationships. 

Your first relationship may be the starter to pointing you to your ideal relationship. You come to learn your values and what you want from a relationship. Along with that, having more dating experience can help prevent awkwardness of a new relationship because you already know how it works.

If you break up with someone, don’t try to go right to the next person. It is ok to take time for yourself to figure out what you want. 

iSchool student, Angela Rosendo said, “Romantic relationships aren’t the end of the world. I would choose a friend over a partner. Don’t date, just to date. If you break up with someone, take time to heal and don’t talk to other people until you’re ready. Don’t text your ex just because you miss them”. 

Although texting someone you miss may feel good, understand what situation you are putting yourself into. By texting your ex you are committing to having some sort of relationship with them whether that be getting back together or becoming friends. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t text your ex. Just be cautious. Remember how they were when you were in a relationship with them. 

Also, texting your ex could be playing around with their feelings. You may be sending the message that you want to get back together with them and can make them more attached. 

Relationships

Having a relationship, whether it is platonic or romantic, is still beneficial for you. We are literally social creatures; humans are bound to have relationships. Relationships are actually quite beneficial for you according Better Health to lower rates of anxiety and depression 

Though, being co-dependent is considered an issue. Taking time for yourself means figuring out how to be happy when not around others. It is important that you find time to focus on yourself so you can become a better person. 

The main point of relationships is to help you learn how to show empathy for others and for yourself. Through being in relationships, both platonic and romantic, you will learn how to support and cherish one another, how to show kindness and love, and most importantly how to figure out what’s best for you!