You’re in the market for a new friend. You search and search until suddenly and almost randomly, you meet her, the friend you’ve been waiting for. You’ve finally found a new person to talk to and  share experiences with.  It’s great, until it isn’t

Losing friends is hard, especially during adolescence. Even the iSchool, a usually nurturing and caring environment, doesn’t lessen the blow of the loss of a friend.  It could possibly be the toughest thing any teenager can go through.

“It was hard,” remembers Margo Macwilliams, a sophomore at Millennium, a nearby high school. “It was like part of my daily routine was suddenly gone. Now I had nobody to talk to during chem,” she laughs.

A lot of people seem to feel that way.  Losing a friend can be lonely as much as it can be hard, but breaking up with a friend doesn’t happen overnight.

“It started with small fights,” says sophomore at the iSchool, Sofia Wilson. “We’d just find things to argue about. It was silly, but we still did it.” She’s remembering an old friend she had back in middle school.  “Then suddenly, we just got tired of it. The fighting was exhausting. I think we just realized we had better things to do and stopped being friends. ”

Teenagers these days seem to have enough on their plates. Acne breakouts, hormones, keeping up with their grades, and fighting with friends isn’t a pleasant addition.

But it happens all the time. Of course, it’s normal to fight with friends. But there’s a difference between healthy fights and unhealthy fights. Fights that make you think that maybe you shouldn’t be friends in the first place.

“I met her freshman year,” says iSchool sophomore, Mia Piazzi, as she remembers a girl she met her first couple days at school. “She was nice, but we never really had anything in common.” Nonetheless, the two quickly became close enough to have nasty fights, both in person and online.

“I don’t even remember what they were about,” she says. “Something stupid. But I remember saying to myself during, ‘why am I even friends with this girl?’ We didn’t like the same things, we fought all the time- it seemed pointless.”

So, slowly but surely, they stopped being friends. “It wasn’t a nasty break. I still say hi to her in the halls – none of us left the relationship with any resentment,” she clarifies. “It was just better that way.”

It seems like sometimes friendships fall apart because people grow out of them. Often times, people tailor their friendships to their present needs and wants.  When those things change, so do the people you surround yourself with.

Losing a friend, as said before, obviously isn’t easy. But sometimes, it’s for the best.

“It definitely wasn’t a fun process, because we were so close,” says sophomore Chris Bell, who resides in Brooklyn. He looks at his hands, as he remembers an old childhood friendship that didn’t survive teenagedom.

“But I feel like I was cutting the toxic out of my life, you know? I didn’t need that negativity in my life. Sure, it sucked for a while, but I think I’m a better person now because of it, ” said Chris.

At the iSchool, it’s safe to say that there are no designated ‘cliques.’ Everyone is pretty much  friendly with everyone. People seem to be pretty keen on the social dynamic. Maybe that’s because the school pushes inclusion and a strong community.

This doesn’t mean that friends don’t fight and break up. It’s a typical thing for the average high schooler. If anything, it’s more abnormal that you haven’t lost a friend than that you have.

Losing a friend it is a part of growing up, but it’s also a part of adult life. It happens, and there’s nothing you can really do.

But like Randy Newman once sang, no matter what, “You got a friend in me.”