Three more months.

Three more months is all that went through Quay’s mind as his last year in High school was coming to an end. Quay was a senior in Rice high school in the Bronx. His grades were pretty average and he was very athletic. Quay averaged 27 points, 7 rebounds, and 6 assists his senior year of high school and still couldn’t get an offer from a division 1 school like he hoped he’d get. Without this offer, Quay was going to have to settle on going to an average college while being in debt for the next 4 years. Quay lived with his mom and dad in west farms near the 2 and 5 train. His older brother Noland graduated from Georgia Tech where he studied computer science. Noland was the favorite of the family. Straight A 4.5 GPA student, with a 1550 SAT score, and ex captain of both his basketball and football team. He was in the New York times for an essay he wrote in school and went to the Guggenheim Museum for an art piece he was able to present on stage. Noland was Quay’s best friend, mentor and brother in one. He would always lecture Quay about life, and the universe, and history, they played basketball together every chance they could, and he kept Quay level headed.

His favorite quote to tell Quay was “Fear means to fight everything and rise.” Quay loved that quote and tried to apply it the best way he could. But sadly Noland was killed just shortly after he graduated from college due to a drive-by shooting near his neighborhood. The bullet was never intended for Noland but he was the victim. Noland’s passing left the whole family devastated and they never really recovered, especially Quay. His grades started to drop, he became more involved with the street life, he had nobody to turn to and talk to. Quay started regressing and his new demeanor was evident. He started to care less about the things he cared deeply about. When college acceptance letters had arrived Quay had been accepted into the majority of his top schools. But happiness wasn’t what filled Quay. It was more the sense of society that had clouded his thought process. Knowing his parents financial status and being that he didn’t receive a scholarship like Noland to attend a top school, Quay was left stuck on whether or not he wanted to pursue his academics further than what he had already experienced. Quay didn’t know what he wanted to be in life, he had no real direction or certainty of his future and so he felt going to college would be an escape from the real world to buy him some time.  But he always thought that it would be a waste of time too. Jacob (Quay’s best friend) is trying to convince him to go however. On their way to Quay’s house they have a conversation about it. 

“Bro what do you have to lose?” Says Jacob 

“Money, time, my sanity, I mean the list is pretty long bro.” Quay responds

“But do you really want to miss out on the college experience?” says Jacob

Jacob was always honest with Quay. He was very caring and supportive. He and Quay always had conversations about attending the same division 1 college and making it to the league together. To Jacob that dream was still a possibility but to Quay that dream was nothing but a distant fantasy shadowed with reality. 

“ As far as I’m concerned I’m not missing out on anything but debt.” Quay said adamantly

“Well, did you at least tell your parents at least?” Jacob asked.

Quay’s parents were very school oriented. They always pushed Quay to achieve academically and required academic excellence before sports. 

Quay hung his head down then back up “Nah not yet, but I’ll let them know, eventually. Look bro don’t trip, let’s just stop thinking about this college shit so I could cook you on this 2k real quick.” Quay said.

“Yea you buggin put money on it.” Jacob said as they both started laughing.

Quay and Jacob get to Quay’s house, and Quay opens the door and sees both of his parents with a stern expression on their face sitting at the dining table.

“Hey mom, hey dad.” Says Quay.

“Wassup Mr. and Ms. Kante” Says Jacob.

“Hello boys!” Says Quay’s mom.

“Sit down son,” Quay’s dad said.

The boys sat down. Quay was very nervous, he knew his parents were aware of the grades he’s been getting recently and it was only a matter of time before one of “these talks” were approaching. 

“Son we’ve noticed your recent attitude lately regarding school, and how you carry yourself. Skipping classes, missing assignments, failing classes. I just don’t know where this sudden change of character is coming from. I mean Noland never acted this way. What’s the matter?” Quay’s dad expressed

“There is no matter. I’m a senior, I’m about to graduate, none of this matters anymore.” Quay responds

“Baby it doesn’t matter, you have to perform all year not just when you think it ‘matters’. Noland got good grades the whole school year, why do you think you should be any different.” Quays Mom says

“It’s because he’s lazy. Three more months of school and you have yet to make a college decision. I mean I’m not even sure he wants to go to college anymore. Do you Quay?” Quays dad says

At this very moment Quay was contemplating telling the truth about his desire to pursue higher education. Jacob looking passively at Quay to not make the suspense of the question any more obvious than it was. The silence in the room was loud and the seconds felt like minutes in the midst of Quay’s hesitance. Finally Quay responded

“I don’t know yet.”

That response shook the foundation of the whole room.

“You don’t know? What do you mean you don’t know? Boy you better know. You’re going to college whether you like it or not” Quays dad yelled.

“What, so I don’t have a say in my future?” Quay said.

“Not as long as you’re under my roof you don’t. You don’t want to go to college. Live somewhere else. Not here.” Said Quay’s dad.

Quay looked at his mom to try to find a sense of reason and remorse in her face to indicate that at least someone sees the wrongdoing going on. But all he saw in his mothers eyes was the fact that she agreed with his dad. And all he saw in his fathers eyes was his reflection getting shattered like glass.

“Are you serious?” Quay asked.

“I’m afraid we are sweetie.”

At this moment Quay realized the extent of the situation.

Jacob then tried to intervene “He just needs a little more time that’s all”

Quay’s dad interjected “Be a quiet boy. Don’t you dare try to defend him on this. See Noland would never-” 

“ OM MY- YOO SHUT UP. STOP. IT’S ALWAYS NOLAND THIS NOLAND THAT, I’M NOT NOLAND.” Quay yelled.

As the room quieted, Quay with a soft tone, on the verge of tears proceeded.

“Noland has been gone for a year now. He’s not coming back. So for everybody’s sake please, leave it that way.”

The room was silent for a moment until Quay’s dad got up and snatched Quay from his seat and smacked him down.

Quays Mom then gets up and tries to hold her husband back as Jacob backs up.

“Don’t you ever, ever, say something so stupid out your mouth boy. As far as I’m concerned, Noland is still the only son I got. At least the only one I could be proud of. Now go to your room, and you bet not come out until that calendar says Monday.” Quay’s dad says with a grimmering tone.

Quay then gets up, looks up at his dad with tears streaming from his face, and a bruise on the left side of his face, and just runs outside. Jacob then follows him, and knows where Quay is going. The only place Quay could call his safe place, his uncle’s house.

Quay’s uncle’s name was Jerome, or Uncle J. Jerome grew up on Lexington Ave Malcolm X street in Harlem with Quay’s dad, and played D1 at Saint John’s University averaging 25-7-8 his senior year. He got invited to play in the NBA but blew out his knee the first week of camp. He played overseas for some years but later settled to being a writer, and ended up moving back to Harlem. If it wasn’t Noland, It was Jerome lecturing Quay about the fascinations of life and the Universe. Jerome was much smarter than Noland and Quay because he has experienced more. Although Jerome was a very private person, he always was an open book to Quay and Noland, and he was never close with Quay’s dad so Quay trusted him.

Quay arrived at Jerome’s house later that night when Jerome heard a loud knock on the door.

“Who is it yo?” Jerome said

“Your fav Nephew man” Quay responded from outside the door.

Jerome with a big smile on his face walks to the door and opened it

“ Ayy that ain’t  who I think it- hey, what happened to your face?” 

“Can I sleep with her tonight Unc? Things ain’t too good at the crib.” Quay says

“Ahh man what happened B? Yo pops giving you trouble kid? You know I could go talk to him for you if you want? Maybe throw down a little” Jerome said jokingly with a laugh.

“Nah man this time it ain’t no joke. This time it’s serious. You know ever since Noland died all the pressure to be this perfect child just fell on me. And I ain’t no school kid man. That shit lame to me, and they can’t even afford it so I don’t know why they playing like they could.” Quay says

“Ayy what happened to you playing D1 man?”

“Man, sometimes things don’t always go as planned.” Quay responds.

They both look at each other, in a heavy silence.

“Ahh man those cats ain’t offer you a scholarship B? Man that shit wack bro you was hoopin nephew. You better than all these cats running around getting ranked because they got money and shit man, they are not really nice. They are missing you for forreal.” Jerome says.

Quay lets out a heavy sigh “Yea thats what I keep telling myself too. Look I understand where my parents are coming from, I really do. But it’s like, that’s not me you know? That top of my class, nerdy kid that goes to these top schools, that’s just not who I am. And it’s too late to make that who I am too.”

“Ayy I get it Nephew. I never had the best grades in high school either kid. I banked all on basketball for my future. See but your pops though. He was different. Kid was the smartest in the whole damn school. Swear there wasn’t a question that man couldn’t answer. Still annoys me to this day.” Says Jerome.

“Yea but see I’m not him Unc. I’m me.” 

“I know. So if you don’t want to go to college. Don’t go.” 

“It’s not that easy Unc.” Quay says.

“Ohh I know. See when I was about to let go of playing professional basketball overseas you think that was easy? It wasn’t, but one of my teammates saw the internal struggle I was going through and took me to this place near the trees that helped me gain clarity, and to this day, I’m forever grateful for that experience.” Jerome says

“Where did he take you?” Quay asks.

Want to take a trip?” Jerome says.

“I’m not going all the way to Australia you’re wildin.” Quay responds.

“No, not Australia. There’s a place here in NYC where you can find the very same thing I found. It’s up to you if you want to come.” Jerome says.

Quay was very hesitant on how to approach this situation. Of course he trusted Jerome but he has no Idea what he is talking about, also his dad has no idea where he is.

“Look if you’re worried about your pops I’ll cover for you. Say you’re at my house and I’ll bring you back by tomorrow. How’s that?”

At this point Quay felt he had nothing left to lose so he thought why not take this chance. 

“ Alright bet, where we out to?” Quay said.

Quay and Jerome then get in Jerome’s truck and drive up to this forest in Queens. When they get there they begin to walk as Jerome tells him stories of this thing called the Astral realm. He described it as a separate dimension outside of human comprehension that is populated with spiritual beings. He said he encountered a spirit guide which helped him navigate through the realm and ultimately helped him find solace in the real world.

They get to a river where the sun has departed from the sky and the trees standing together in the distance as the sound of the river occupies the soundscape.

“What are we doing here Unc.” Says Quay

“Damn you’re impatient kid, you see that frog.” Says Jerome

“Yea, what about it?” Says Quay

“I want you to pick it up”

Quay then picks up the frog.

“Now what.” Says Quay.

“Now lick it.” Jerome says.

“What!? I ain’t likcing no frog yo.” Quay exclaims.

“Just do it kid. Trust me.”

Quay then looks at the frog and decides to lick it.

“See you on the other side.” Whispers Jerome

Now all Quay sees is black as he can feel the shift of his body floating. He then starts to see colors and shapes he’s never seen before. Then before he knows it he is sucked into this portal of this majestic world where the clouds were colorful and the shapes made faces, there were rainbows and the feeling hadn’t felt like anything Quay had felt before. He then finds himself floating in the middle of everything just stranded, and that’s when he saw a light. He then began to hear a voice, but there was something strange. The voice was echoed with reverb and a large presence, but Quay didn’t seem to hear the voice in a usual way. The voice was playing in his mind, and he didn’t seem to catch himself responding vocally, but rather telepathically. 

“Young indigo child. It is you that provides the presence in this realm.” Says the light.

“Who is this, who am I talking to.” Quay responds

“It is your spirit guide. I will be guiding you through your journey in this realm, and subconsciously in your journey outside of it.” The light says 

“Alright that’s cool and all but can you please show yourself.” Quay says

“As you wish” The light responds.

Then out of the majestic light, almost blinding in the sight of Quay the guide began to present itself to Quay, he saw the hair of the being, the big nose, skin of copper, dark eyes, felt the vibrant aura and saw the image of the being. It is Noland. Quay then begins to run to the being with a face full of tears and attempts to hug the being but the being moves away.

“I am not who you assume me to be. I am a mere image of a trustworthy companion of your imagination to make your experience in this realm more comfortable.” Says the spirit.

“How do you know my brother, is he alive in this realm!?” Quay asks

“I’m afraid not. He is in a place far more peaceful, he watches over you, and still loves you. Your thoughts are intertwined with this dimension and the loudest one of them all is the man you see in front of you, your brother. Now we have a lot to show you indigo, please take my hand.” Says the spirit.

And without hesitation, Quay takes the hand of the spirit and begins his journey. The spirit takes Quay to these spiritual places where the land is made of color and love, his thoughts are the reflection of what he sees. If he gets sad the space around him begins to become Noir and the shapes get distorted, when he begins to love the space gets more vibrant and the shapes become to work with him through love. Quay gets teaching and quotes from the spirit about the basis of love, happiness, and purpose in the world. They get to the end of their journey and Quay sees rainbows and feels the love of his atmosphere. 

“You are ready king” Says the guide

“Am I though? Like I’ve learned so much from this experience but how will I know when I go back that I won’t regress, how will I know everything will come to fruition?” says Quay.

“You won’t, it’s a leap of faith, and we’ll make sure that faith is in the light.” The spirit responds.

“We?”

“Yes We. You think I’m the only one in this realm, or Universe? The whole universe works together to make sure you get what your purpose leads you to. Law of Attraction.”

“Okay, I trust you, when do I go back.” Quay asks.

“You will feel it. And remember, fight everything and rise.” As the spirit smiled.

Then Quay, in shock, looked at the figure as his vision began to get blurry, he began running towards the spirit yelling “wait, wait” every word becoming quieter and quieter, as his figure in the plane began to fade, until finally he woke up.

Quay then woke up back in the woods and jumped up breathing heavily.

“Nephew, Nephew? You okay?” Jerome asks in a concerning manner.

Quay then looks up at Jerome, takes a deep breath, smiles and says “Never been better.”

They both smile at each other because then, they knew, Quay knew, what he had to do. 

Quay and Jerome then get back in the car and drive back to the Bronx and Jerome asks.

“So kid, what you learn?”

Quay looks at Jerome, grins and says “Fight everything and rise.”

Quay and Jerome got back to Jerome’s place where Quay’s mom and dad were waiting for him. Jerome parks his car and sees Quay’s parents in front of the door. Jerome hasn’t spoken to his brother in some year,s so he is nervous to approach them, but he looks at the confidence in his nephew’s face and decides to walk up to them.

“Mom, dad!” Quay shouts as he and Jerome exit the car.

Quay’s mom and dad see Quay with Jerome exiting the car and Quay’s dad has this look of confusion, resentment, and worry. They begin to speed walk to Quay and Jerome.

“Son, where the hell have you been? Do you understand how stupid you look right now, you think I wouldn’t be able to find out where you were? You and your uncle aren’t the brightest of people. And also if you’re thinking your little friend Jacob told me, no he didn’t I found you myself,” Quay’s dad says angrily.

Jerome then sarcastically claps “Bravo, I mean, you want a cookie G?”

“You think this is a game bro? You had my son and didn’t bother to call. We had to go look for ourselves,” says Quay’s dad.

“ Call? You mean with a phone? Shit, I thought you ain’t have one of those in three years. You know being that that’s the last time we even spoke,” Jerome responds.

Jerome and Quay’s dad now looking at each other with the tension spiraling through both of their presence so much that everybody could feel it.

“ Now’s not the time,” Quay’s mom says 

“ Nah I think it is… Talking bout he had to find Quay himself… bro I ain’t hard to find. Or am I? Is that the reason you ain’t come visit me all these years? Because I was so hard to locate?” Jerome says with tears beginning to develop in his eyes.

“ LISTEN I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOU, I CAME FOR MY SON<, NOT TO START A CONVERSATION, COME ON QUAY.” Quay’s dad yells, as he turns his back from Jerome and Quay, potentially waking up the whole block with this scene. 

Quay, now on the verge of breaking his silence, looks at his dad, then looks at his mom, gathering every thought he could have. He was now ready to face his truth. 

“Fight everything and rise.” He whispers to himself as he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes before he begins.

 “I’m not going.” Quay says

“What!?” Jerome, Quay’s mom, and Quay’s dad say in unison.

“I’m not going.” Quay says again

“Not going where?” Quay’s mom asks.

“To college, into a future I can’t bear to be a part of, into a family I’m not accepted into, Into a home of ultimatums and standards I can’t reach, I’m not going back to being scared.” Quay responds.

“Son, what the hell are you talking about?” Quay’s dad says dismissively.

“I spent my whole life scared. Scared of letting you down, scared I’ll never live up to your expectations, scared I’ll never be enough, scared I’ll never be like… Noland. The ‘perfect son’. I put so much pressure on myself to fulfill your needs I never had the time to fulfill my own. Or to even take in account what my needs are. What do I desire, what is my purpose? It was always tainted with the shadow of Noland, and always washed with the values of you guys. My own parents. Putting my whole life in perspective, I now see I’ve been living my whole life riding passenger in my own car. While I let everything else around me control the wheel. For the first time in my life I now feel like we’re beginning to switch seats. I’m no longer allowing the influence of other people to cast my judgment, I want to make my own decisions, like a man. I want to fight everything.” Says Quay.

“But son, we’ve done everything for you, clothed you, bathed you, put a roof over your head, clothes on your back. And you’re still a kid. You’re still my baby.” Says Quay’s mom as she begins to tear up.

“ Yeah you right. And for that I am very grateful. But one thing you guys haven’t done is take my feelings into consideration.”

 Quays dad interjects. “What are you talking about? You just sound ungrateful, Noland would nev-”

“Just shut up and let the kid speak” Jerome cuts in.

They both look at each other.

“As I was saying, I love both of you guys very much. And I still want you guys to be in my life, and I know Noland is watching and would be proud of who I’ve become, I know that no matter what, he will always be a part of me, and in my life. But I will not give in to ultimatums, I don’t want to be in your life if it comes at the expense of my happiness. The choice is yours.”

They all begin to look at each other in silence in the dark sight of the Bronx streets. As the suspense is dawning Quay’s mom asks, 

“ What will you do then if not go to college?”

“I will continue my dream of playing pro basketball. Go to training camps, play overseas, find peace within myself.  lot of it is still uncertain, but I know for sure it is possible. I know who got me.” Says Quay.

“And where will you go if we refuse this?” Quay’s dad asks

“I will stay with Uncle J until I have everything figured out. He’ll look after me.”

Quay’s dad then looks at Jerome, as Jerome begins to smile, and the tension eases.

“Fine, you can come to the house and make your own choices. But please, still try to get a college offer, don’t give up,” Quay’s dad says.

“Of course. I will try my best to get a division 1 offer for the rest of the year, but if it doesn’t work out then my goal is going overseas,” Says Quay.

“Okay good… Bring it in Son,” Says Quay’s dad.

Quay’s parents, and Quay begin to have a group hug as Jerome smiles and watches.

They finish their hug and Quay’s dad looks at Jerome and says, “You too brother.” And they hug as well.

“I love you bro,” says Quay’s dad

Jerome pauses for a moment, looks up and says ,“I love you too bro.”

The end.

EPILOGUE:

Four months later, Quay shined in the drew league averaging 29 points, 8 rebounds, and 11 assists, and also dominated in dyckman, and AAU basketball averaging 31 points, 5 rebounds,and  7 assists. Quay got 8 division 1 offers from Auburn, Vanderbilt, Texas A&M, Kansas, Alabama, Fordham, Penn state, and Purdue University. He then committed to Auburn university where he played 4 years and averaged 19 points, 7 rebounds, and 7 assist and went on to play professionally overseas with hopes of one day reaching the NBA. Unfortunately in the midst of all of this, Quay’s uncle Jerome (Uncle J), passed away due to a car crash he had while going to see one of Quay’s games in Australia. Quay still keeps Uncle J and Noland in his heart, as he meditates everyday, and visits the astral realm at least 2-3 times a year